Dating
“I’m full and yet I know that if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.” Said Chandler Bing. By now we are all feeling this. Whether it is toward food or hell, dating. If we think about it, dating right now during the pandemic is just as hard as it is in “regular” life. The way it is hard to meet anyone. How you can hardly connect with anybody in your immediate area. There is always some bit of travel restriction involved whether by you or the other person. It is terribly hard to decide where to eat. How comfortable the other person is or even you are, is in question from the beginning. One liners just work better in person, always. Dating is fucking terrible. Especially during a pandemic.
There are so many apps out there that it is ridiculous just to navigate through any of them. How many profiles should you have? Do you have to connect your Instagram and Twitter, SnapChat, TikTok? Are they on TikTok? Do I have to be on TikTok? Why do they have only one picture and their SnapChat name? What do you mean this is a fake account, a fake number and how did they steal my credit card information and make me spend forty dollars twice on something I didn’t even see? Now I must get a new debit card?!
It could happen to anyone. Maybe. Anyway. It is tough out there. During this time, we are all feeling lonely. Single people, people in open relationships stuck with that one person they just happened to be with before lockdown. Government got you good, didn’t they? But yes, so now people like this are all out there trying to make things work. It is not easy; I mean how many recipes of sourdough bread can you send out in the Tinder chat? What are people doing that they are taking eight hours between messages to answer? We know you are at home “working”, sure as you make jello shots and drink whipped cream vodka. Gross, by they way. I had that stuff once in 2010 and it was the worst. Puke everywhere. People are still trying to connect though aren’t they. Aren’t you? How can we make this situation better? No one is going to be able to “grab lunch” for a long while as it stands right now. At least for possibly another few months. Then when we do open back up, are we really going to trust strangers from down the road, in another town, flying in hot air balloons? Possibly not. Where does that leave us? Back to digital dates? Chaperones? Who bones the chaperone? Its all up in the air.
For now, we are all just having conversations, chats, quips, jokes, sourdough. Hopefully, this time where conversation is more important than ever it is weeding out those in the male population who only send dick picks without the previous party requesting one, “Oh wow cute.” Says the other party after receiving an unsolicited nude, “Now how about that sourdough? Also, gross. Can you say anything without sounding sexual or are you an inadequate human to hold an actual conversation?” Ouch! Good things can come from this situation. In time maybe we will all find that personality over initial physical attraction is truly the bee’s knees. Some of us already believe so. Some of you may even meet the love of your life out there on the dating apps of this universe and yet you may have to wade through this uncertain pool of devastation like star-crossed lovers in a play by Shakespeare for a movie with Tom Hanks. Hold on my friends, time will change, the world will change and dating forever as we know it will, most likely, change. I leave you with a quote from yes, again, Seinfeld (as in a previous article), “Lunch is fine at the beginning, then you move on to dinner. You don’t move back to lunch. It’s like being demoted.”
